Reading over my post from yesterday, I realized that I was so worried about Having Something To Say that I don’t sound like MYSELF. I wanted to make a good first impression, never mind that most people reading this have been reading my journaling for awhile now, and I didn’t say all I wanted to say in the way I would normally have said it.

For example, I didn’t really talk about how I missed an opportunity to meet some potentially cool people and have at the very least an interesting story. I had nothing to lose by asking a Santa what was going on and tagging along for a bit. I am really going to make an effort to be open to those sorts of weird opportunities to meet people and try something new. You never know where I might meet the man I’m supposed to marry. …I don’t REALLY think I would have met him somewhere where everyone was dressed as Santa, but you know what, I made out with Homestar Runner once, so anything is possible!

And I have been given this really amazing opportunity to be who I want to be, whoever that is. I don’t have to be what people expect me to be. I can be the girl who hangs out with Santas and has adventures by herself and who has an amazing relationship with God and has sex and swears and drinks. I am in a place where no one knows my history, which is good and bad. I miss the people who know me so well we don’t have to speak, but it’s cool not to have any baggage or expectations. I just need to be true to myself and not so worried about making friends or fitting in that I lose that.

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