Mariam, Liz and I, originally uploaded by Being a Dilettante.

This weekend I got to go home for bridesmaid dress shopping. It was pretty much the best possible weekend I could have. It was amazing. I just had such a great time hanging out with my friends and relaxing and laughing. Dress shopping started out a little rocky, but ended up being good. Saturday night was roller skating with Mariam and Liz, and WOW. So much fun. So difficult. So many teenagers better at roller skating than me! Which, considering I hadn’t been roller skating since middle school, isn’t that difficult. And you know what? Watching all those teenagers made me even more excited and more determined to be a Roller Derby Girl. It’ll be awesome. Sunday was chill, hanging with three of my favorite people playing Settlers of Catan. OH MY GOD. It was a shitty game, but we were laughing so hard we were crying.

Going back to CA this time around was the hardest it’s ever been. We spent some time this weekend talking about how long I plan on being here in the Bay Area (NOT A MINUTE LONGER THAN I HAVE TO) and where I want to end up (WHERE EVER PAM IS), and it’s all just made me realize just how much I want to go back HOME. I mean, I’m not sure that I’ll ever live in Tucson again, but I can’t stand being so far away from my friends. Honestly, if someone offered me a decent paying job in Tucson (or even in Phoenix), I would take it in a heartbeat.

I KNOW I’m supposed to be here. I KNOW that God has a plan for me here, that I’m here because HE WANTS me here, even if I don’t want to be here. And I’m trying to remember that whenever I feel discouraged and lonely and homesick, but it’s hard.

Hopefully, God willing, I’ll be done with my degree and have a job, A CAREER, and can move out of the Bay Area by next May. I know that’s barely a year from now, but it seems so far away, and I MISS MY HOME. And it’s become even harder to focus on work; I’ve been super discouraged and overwhelmed by life and school and LIFE, and I’ve been making stupid mistakes and just been redonkulously uber grumpy. Of course, this could also be explained by stupid PMS hormones.

But you know what? I’m doing pretty good in school right now. I’ve gotten A-‘s on both of the assignments my teacher’s graded in one class, which pretty much hasn’t happened before. This week will be rough; I have an assignment due tonight and one due on Friday. Anyone know anything about collaboration & partnerships in libraries?

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