In college, I pretty much majored in Greek Mythology, so OF COURSE I was gonna see Clash of the Titans, and adding Sam Worthington, Aslan and Voldemort Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes pretty much guaranteed that I’d see it in theaters.

I don’t have a problem with the fact that they “butchered” various and sundry myths, but I do have a problem with fact that Sam Worthington wasn’t shirtless once. NOT ONCE. HE WAS FULLY CLOTHED FOR THE ENTIRE MOVIE. I don’t know about you, but I did NOT sign up for that. No way. Also, while Sam’s delicious, and I would like to lick his abs, he was just plain baby faced next to the grizzled, mature and scarred hotness of the villian from Casino Royale. FRRRAAAWWRRR. Ahem.

Cleolinda compared it favorably to Troy, but I think I like Troy better. What? Don’t look at me like that! Brad Pitt was all sweaty and manly and SHIRTLESS and broody! What’s not to love?

In conclusion, MOAR NEKKID FOR EVERYONE. Also, why was Hades a hunchback?