This girl says she’s slept with ONE THOUSAND men. Okay, let me list my thoughts here.

1) I will never feel bad about the number of dudes I’ve slept with ever again.
2) How do we know she isn’t a total Liar McLiarson? Or that the publication didn’t totally make this story up? Because really, what woman DECIDES she’s going to have sex with 1,000 dudes? Like, I just DON’T EVEN understand that mindset, and I like sex. Quite a lot. A LOT A LOT. And I have NO DESIRE to have sex with that many guys. Because really? It would be EXHAUSTING.
3)WHY DOES SHE HAVE PICTURES WITH ALL THESE DUDES?! Who takes pictures with one night stands?! Who does that?! For the most part, I would like to NOT REMEMBER that my one night stands were NOT as hot as I wanted them to be.
4) How has her vagina not fallen out or stretched so much it’s useless? Them’s a lot of kegels to keep it tight after ONE THOUSAND men.
5) How will she EVER explain it to her kids when they Google her and find this article?
6) Or her future husband for that matter. Because I bet “I slept with 1,000 men” isn’t something you bring up unless you have to.
7) The picture they use of her at the top of the article is the BEST they could do? Really? She’s decently cute in the one night stand pictures, but kind of fug in that top one.
8) Also, EW. DISEASE. I want a full list of the men she’s slept with so I can be sure to never sleep with any of them because I’M SURE there’s some redonk nastiness going around that group. Also, she totally has the herp.
9) If she’s not totally disease ridden, that’s a lot of money spent on condoms. And lube. Do you think she carries her own around or just relies on her conquests to provide them? If the latter, she’s DEFINITELY disease riddled because 99% of dudes don’t carry condoms/use them willingly.

I’m just totally disgusted and baffled by this. Like, who does this?! And where were her friends when she was making the decision to sleep with ONE THOUSAND MEN?! Because I hope my friends would beat me about the head and neck were I ever to suggest some dumb shit like this.