I love getting my hair cut. I love cutting all the nasty split ends off and maybe trying something new – but not too new! I’m not that adventurous! – and having someone else wash my hair and maybe get a head scratch, and in the last couple of years, I’ve had some nice haircuts that I’ve loved. My stylist in Tucson was AMAZING. The first time I saw her, I walked in and said “I like it really choppy, I like the front to frame my face (about chin length), and I don’t want bangs” and she gave me THE EXACT hair cut I wanted, the one that I envisioned in my head but had never successfully received until that point. So maybe she set me up to have unrealistic expectations about a stylist. Maybe this debacle is all her fault! At any rate, I got a horrible, no good, very bad haircut this weekend.

I took this picture into the salon and said “I want my hair to look like this again.”

Pretty hair

And he said “Oh nice! Let’s make it a little more full in front, but otherwise, that’s a look I can get behind!” Awesome! More full up front! Less bangs perhaps? Not really sure, but he sounds very confident! And then he’s washing my hair and massaging my head, and it’s all very pleasant! He even gives me a mimosa! Yay booze! And we even look at a picture of another girl to whom he gave a similar cut, and I said “Yes! Similar to that, but I like the back shorter and the front a longer.”

So I’m sitting there, enjoying someone fussing over my hair, when all of a sudden, I look up and realize that something seems a little … off. He’s cutting the hair near the front of my head awfully short, but oh well, there’s plenty of other front hair, let’s just see what he does with it, because I’m SURE he knows what he’s doing. And next thing I know, ALERT ALERT ALERT TOO SHORT HE’S CUT IT TOO SHORT MY HAIR IS TOO SHORT OMG because now ALL of my front hair on half of my head stops in the middle of my face, which is about TWO-THREE INCHES shorter than I wanted, but at that point, the damage was done, and I had to just let him finish lest I walk around uneven. And now my hair looks like this:

too short!

Which DOES NOT look like that first picture! Not at all! And when he asked me how I liked it, and I told him that I wished it were longer, he kept saying that it didn’t look that long in the picture and that he didn’t take THAT much off the front. Apparently, we were looking at two different pictures and have two different definitions of “that much” because he cut a good 4-5 inches off. My hair was getting LONG. And now it’s NOT. NOT AT ALL. I mean, you can’t really tell in this picture, but he easily cut off HALF of my hair. HALF. THAT’S A LOT.

And look, I’m not fishing for compliments here. I’m not the kind of girl to be all WAH I LOOK UGLY PLEASE VALIDATE MY HOTNESS. Objectively, I know that this is a good haircut and looks decent on my head. Even while I was sitting in the chair holding back tears, because I am NOT crying in the stylist’s chair dammit! Did I cry later? OH YES, the ENTIRE HOUR trip home I cried, I could look at the cut and rationalize that it’s not THAT bad, that I don’t look weird or horrible or anything, but I just wasn’t mentally or emotionally prepare to lose HALF of my hair! My hair has not been this short since an ill advised blunt bob that made my round face look even rounder when I was 11. I don’t even have any pictures to show y’all of that cut because it was THAT BAD. So when he started cutting my hair to that length again, I flashbacked to that really bad hair cut when I was 11 and chubby and didn’t have very many friends (not that that has anything to do with the haircut; I was new in school).

And so now I’m adjusting. And hoping it grows quickly.