The Brother has returned home or possibly he is returning home today or something. At any rate, he is gone, and there’s something so … refreshing and relaxing about the time right after a guest leaves or you return from a vacation when you’re getting back into your usual routine and cleaning up from all the fun you had. Also, the clean up process is kind of eye opening. It’s always like “WHAT? What just happened here?! HOW IS IT THIS MESSY?!” Like yesterday when I was doing the dishes from the weekend. Actually, no, they were just the dishes from Sunday because I ALSO did dishes Sunday morning before breakfast. And HOLY CRAP. We only had ONE extra person in the house! How did we use enough dishes for ten?! And I’m exaggerating, obviously, but ONLY A LITTLE. Sunday morning I washed AT LEAST four coffee cups, only one of which I used, and which was then immediately dirtied again in the name of omelets, and yesterday? I washed SIX MORE. SIX. How do you even use SIX coffee cups in 24 hours?! And I’m not counting any mugs I may or may not have used for ice cream and/or wine. AHEM.

And OH THE BEER. Feller and I finished off the last of 54 bottles of beer last night. FIFTY FOUR BOTTLES OF BEER. Between three people! And OKAY FINE, to be fair, Feller and I did most of the drinking. Work’s been stressful, yo! And REALLY, that’s not THAT much beer over three evenings. Not even CLOSE to what I used to drink on a fairly regular basis. Like that one time my heart was completely SHATTERED, and I drank a 12 pack then went out and had a few gin and tonics. That was fun. By which I mean HORRIBLE. That was one of the worst hangovers I’ve EVER had, and I had to work with the breaker of my heart the next day, AND he had the audacity to LAUGH at my misery. I was *this close* to shanking the bitch. Also, and I am only SORT OF ashamed to admit this, but I just did a quick Facebook stalk, and he is married to the girl he chose instead of me, so, you know, good for him! BUT I’m in the hotter couple. I won THAT breakup!

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