One of my resolution sfor 2013 is to run one race per month, and so far, I am officially signed up for all but four months worth of races, two or three of which I already know what I’ll be doing. In fact, I’ll be running the Bay Breeze 10K on Saturday.

The inspiration for my resolution, however, is the fact that I signed up for a half marathon training program, like a crazy person. And NOW, I’m signed up for five different half marathons this year, like a REALLY crazy person. And I have eleven and a half weeks before my first of them. When I put it that way, I’m fucking terrified. I feel super unprepared, even though I am reminding myself that that is plenty of time to get from where I am now to where I need to be to get myself across a 13.1 mile finish line. If I’m diligent.

Here’s where I admit that thus far? I haven’t been diligent about my training. I have INTENTIONS to be diligent and exercise. I packed my running clothes when we visited my family for Christmas, without touching them once. I packed them again when we went to Cozumel. I even ran twice while we were on vacation in Mexico. In the humid, humid Mexican sea air along the beach and in the tiny, no air circulating fitness center after midnight with my shirt covering the timer on the treadmill, until one of our fellow divers told us that exercise 12 hours after diving can lead to The Bends. But even when I’m at home, I’m not great about following a regular fitness regiment, let alone a fairly structured training program.

With 11 weeks before my first 13.1 mile race, it’s time to get fucking serious about this shit.

I only ran once last week, and it was a pretty good one: 7.84 km in 1 hour, 4 minutes. Not bad, and I felt totally badass afterwards.

When I ran this week, I started the run badly. During my five minute warm up WALK, I was asking myself why I was doing this crazy, hard thing. And then I wondered if I really, REALLY, did I REALLY want to run a half marathon? Is that something I REALLY wanted or just something to do to satisfy my inner “I’m better than you” smug bastard? Thankfully, I also realized that EVEN IF I don’t want anything to do with a half marathon, it’s too damn bad because I’m signed up for five non-refundable races. That are as EXPENSIVE as HELL. So I ran. And had a shit run. I couldn’t make it through my first 18 minute stretch of running without a walk break, and I ended up giving up and turning around before the halfway point. I. was. DONE.

Thankfully, that shitty run reminded me of how much fucking WORK I need to do. It was the kick in the butt I need to really start focusing on training and crosstraining and getting shit done. The fact that my work pants, always a little tight, are noticeably loose on me now (despite my best efforts over the weekend to shove every food ever into my face) doesn’t hurt either. I don’t want to lose that momentum, and I don’t want to want to cry anything but tears of joy and accomplishment after I finish my first half marathon.

Onward.

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