So It’s Official Now (A Wedding Recap 3 Weeks Later)

I know we said we probably weren’t going to get married until I was done with school, but about three weeks ago, practically old news at this point, Feller started asking what the heck were we waiting for?! I mean, he’s been joking for a couple of months about “when we get married next month (for tax reasons)”, but I never really super thought that we WOULD actually get married “next month”. I thought we’d have lots of time to think about it and plan it and … I don’t know.

But he was right. What WERE we waiting for? Neither one of us wanted to have any sort of major EVENT with the money and the planning and the drama and UGH. But I think, I sort of still expected that we’d have something more traditional, even though that’s NOT what I wanted, it’s the kind of thing that is so societally ingrained that the idea of ACTUALLY going off the rails and running away seemed crazy and unlikely.

But we did! We went from making the decision to married in less than 48 hours. Feller spent the day before calling around trying to find an officiant and witnesses. We ended up having the ceremony in Santa Cruz, about 45 minutes away from where we were staying Salinas because that’s where the officiant was. And it was beautiful! The weather was perfect and the beach not too crowded, and we got to just be there together and focused on each other. We didn’t have any distractions or anything.

As we stood looking at each other, holding each other’s hands, saying our vows, I couldn’t stop laughing. I mean, WHAT THE FUCK was even going on?! We were getting MARRIED. Like for reals. Really really married. It was by far the most bizarre thing I have ever done, with making the decision on our marriage license to change my name being a close second, but it was also the most glorious.

Everything around us faded away, and it didn’t matter one bit where we were or who was there to witness or that the officiant was some lady we had found on the internet. All I could see and hear was Feller.

(And to the delight of our photographer and my mother, I got married barefoot. Not because of any statement I was trying to make or any real conscious decision, but simply because I forgot how much I hated sand when I chose my footwear. I took one step off the little path down the beach, and my shoes filled with sand that was touching my feet and being all icky and sandy and UGH. SAND. So, shoes came off just so I could get away from the sand with which they were filled.)

Now, it’s been three weeks since our wedding, and it’s been wonderful. We’re happy and being all grownup and shit and planning budgets and talking about joint bank accounts and changing my name. I’ve got all new forms of identification coming to me and work has already changed my name in the system, and it’s very strange and exciting and new and wonderful to go from Amy MaidenName to Amy Feller. I am certainly looking forward to spending the rest of my life as Mrs. Feller.

Just the Kick in the Butt I Needed

SO. I am planning on writing about the move and how smoothly it went and how much we LOVE our house, and I want to take pictures, but that’s going to have to wait until the weekend because it’s always dark when I get home, so outdoors pictures would be pretty pointless.

I might also write about MAH BIRTHDAY and how great that was and how mah feller really rose to the occasion and went above and so far beyond what I ever would have hoped for (though he has set the bar QUITE high for future birthdays).

But right now I have a much more pressing issue. My company holiday party is in a week and a half, and in an effort to save money, I asked my mom to send me some of my formal dresses from high school because they’re purty, and I would like to get more wear out of them. And OBVIOUSLY I realized that I’m not exactly the same size I was in high school, the later years of which were some of the skinniest of my life, but my body is still similarly sized, so it should be fine, and I’d have a couple of weeks to drop a couple of pounds to get the fit right. And this happened to coincide with Weight Watchers unveiling their ALL! NEW! AND IMPROVED! PROGRAM! so I figured now was a good time to join on up (especially since they now have a $40 monthly pass for meetings (which are usually $13 each, plus a registration fee) and e-tools).

And the dresses arrived, and my mom warned me that my sister could barely zip them up, and she, damn her, is just SLIGHTLY smaller than me. She does NOT have the Phipps childbearing Hips that I have. So I was prepared but hopeful. And you know? One of the dresses I definitely could not zip up, but the other? The one I really wanted to wear? The slinky hot one? It fit! Nevermind that I couldn’t ACTUALLY breath in it and could BARELY get the thing turned around properly after I had to zip it on backwards since I was home alone at the time. It fit! And after (at the time) two weeks of eating really healthily and exercising and shit, I’m SURE to have dropped just enough weight to make that shit work.

And so off to my first Weight Watchers meeting in three years I went! AND THEN. They weighed me. And I saw that number on the scale, and I just about DIED. It was the highest it’s ever been in my LIFE. (Though technically perhaps not EVER ever; before I lost all my baby fat in high school, I was SERIOUSLY chubby, and while I don’t know how much I weighed then, I was DEFINITELY wearing larger sized clothing than I am now.) And all of a sudden the 30 or so pounds I was hoping to be able to shed turned into 40 or 50 and OH MY GOD. I’M NEVER EATING ICE CREAM AGAIN.

And all that talk about loving my body and being happy at the weight I am just went RIGHT OUT the window because the weight I ACTUALLY am is AT LEAST 12 pounds more than the weight at which I THOUGHT I was, and I am NOT happy with being 12 pounds more than I thought I was. And SERIOUSLY, it’s like I turned 26 and ALL OF A SUDDEN (though possibly I just haven’t been paying attention) my body isn’t keeping itself at the weight it’s always defaulted to, and I started noticing that my body looks differently. My boobs are straining against the bras I’m wearing, and HOLY CRAP that picture of me standing up over the weekend? WOW. BAD NEWS BEARS.

So I’m all motivated and shit to get this weight off. Weight Watchers has changed their program so ALL fruits (even bananas!! they keep telling me) are free, which is why I was always previously against their points program, and I’ve been tracking all my foods, even the night of the party we had when I had TWO slices of AMAZING birthday cake (what?! It was MAH BIRTHDAY!) and LOTS OF BOOZE, and you know, I’m kind of surprised at how EASY the tracking is and how it really does help to keep me aware of what I’m eating and how much, and I’m glad I don’t totally hate it. Tomorrow night is my first weigh in, and I’m looking forward to seeing the result of my effort this week.

Before, not yet After

Every month, Shredheads poses a fitness challenge, and this month it’s taking your Before pictures.

I have Befores. They’re sitting on my phone, waiting for me to upload and share them but not yet. I’m not After yet, and I don’t want anyone to see me Before (for some reason Befores always look so much worse than I actually do).

But this week has been the start of me actually doing something about it. I’ve exercised every day this week (if you count cleaning as exercise) (and I totally do; have you ever tried putting a futon cover back on after washing it? STRENUOUS), and I plan on keeping up this streak for the next 27 days. I’ve 30 Day Shred sitting at home, and I have NO EXCUSE not to bust out a 20 minute workout. And this week, I’ve been so busy, that I haven’t been able to sit at home and veg or eat or anything that might derail this. Even though I totally want to; I have the last two discs of Moonlight waiting for me (stop judging me). Today, I’m even going to attempt doing two levels at once, for a 40 minute work out. I might also fall over dead, so if you don’t hear from me again, that’s why.

I’ve also been focusing on eating better. I’ve eaten more fruits and veggies in the last three days than I ever have before, and I’m also stocking my fridge with other good for me snacks: light yogurt and string cheese, walnuts, homemade pasta sauce with whole wheat macaroni, and the most delicious white bean and basil hummus I have ever eaten EVER. I’ve been eating A LOT, but it’s all been tons of watermelon or berries or cherries or peaches or celery or sugar snap peas or broccoli.

I’m feeling good. I’m EXHAUSTED, and I know more sleep will help with weight loss and stuff, and next week, I’m really going to focus on getting to bed by 10, but for now…I’m good.

Also, the times, they may be a-changing, so please send some prayers/thoughts/good vibrations my way that everything works out the way it should.

Also, also, this is pretty much the hottest blog post I’ve ever read. Who knew that I should have been blogging about all my college sexcapades all that time? And now, I’m having them with a feller I respect enough not to blog about his penis or how he fucks (hint: AWESOMELY). I think I missed my calling back then.