Archives for posts with tag: hilarious

My feller does this thing that is both incredibly adorable and endearing and slightly annoying. Thankfully, it’s more adorable and endearing than annoying, and it makes me smile when I think about it.

I am, historically, a very deep sleeper. Ask anyone who has ever experienced me sleeping. We used to joke that I could sleep through a zombie attack, because I can sleep through anything. AN-Y-THING. Except, it seems, my feller crawling into bed with me. Sometimes, I’m so passed out that I miss him coming to bed, but that’s a rarity. And for some reason, I’m not sure I understand the logic here, but he thinks that the wee hours of the morning after I’ve already been asleep for quite awhile is an appropriate time to converse with me. I LOVE that he wants to talk to me and tell me about whatever’s going on in his head at the moment, but I do kind of wish it could wait until I’m conscious, because honestly? It’s kind of a miracle that I EVER remember anything we talk about; I may be moving and responding to him, but I’m not REALLY awake.

Like just this weekend, he woke me up at 445 am Sunday morning to ask me to get him a chocolate milkshake, and he wanted it RIGHT NOW, and he wanted ME to go get it for him, nevermind that I can think of no place that sells chocolate milkshakes at that hour of the morning. But we also talked about how he’s looking forward to reading Kraken because he really like China Mieville’s monster books, and he’ll be able to read it in a couple of days. And I just found out last night we also had a conversation this weekend about him finishing a video game that I don’t remember.

And then the morning after our bedtime conversations, I have to spend several minutes deciding if we ACTUALLY had a conversation at 445 am about chocolate milkshakes or if I dreamed that.

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This song cracks me the fuck up. And I actually like a mustache on a certain kind of man (I think my feller would look funny with one, but Tom Selleck’s gets me all hot and bothered, and my daddy just looks STRANGE without his).

In college, I pretty much majored in Greek Mythology, so OF COURSE I was gonna see Clash of the Titans, and adding Sam Worthington, Aslan and Voldemort Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes pretty much guaranteed that I’d see it in theaters.

I don’t have a problem with the fact that they “butchered” various and sundry myths, but I do have a problem with fact that Sam Worthington wasn’t shirtless once. NOT ONCE. HE WAS FULLY CLOTHED FOR THE ENTIRE MOVIE. I don’t know about you, but I did NOT sign up for that. No way. Also, while Sam’s delicious, and I would like to lick his abs, he was just plain baby faced next to the grizzled, mature and scarred hotness of the villian from Casino Royale. FRRRAAAWWRRR. Ahem.

Cleolinda compared it favorably to Troy, but I think I like Troy better. What? Don’t look at me like that! Brad Pitt was all sweaty and manly and SHIRTLESS and broody! What’s not to love?

In conclusion, MOAR NEKKID FOR EVERYONE. Also, why was Hades a hunchback?

The fabulous @foresthouse, whose Twitter and blog are both always fun and full of good information, has directed me toward lo, a great many interesting, funny, and/or cool things the past couple of days.

First, I bring The 20 Nerd Commandments. Some of these I can’t relate to because I’m not into video games/rpg’s or manga/anime, but the vast majority are SPOT ON. I must, however, shamefully confess to having broken Commandment 14: I am reasonably certain my first crush was on an actual LIVE HUMAN BEING. Blasphemy, I KNOW, but I got a really early start on that liking boys thing, and I like to think I have made up for it by the vast number of fictional crushes I have since harbored (there was a time I was IN LOVE with Tarzan (not the Disney version, but I guess he’s okay too). I am not even kidding, ask my best friend from high school).

Next, is this achingly cool twitter feed: @thaumatrope. From their bio:

Thaumatrope is a twitter fiction magazine for Science Fiction, Fantasy, and Horror fiction under 140 characters – edited by @nelilly (Nathan E. Lilly)

And it is BADASS. I love what they create with 140 characters. What’s that quote “brevity is the soul of wit”? They are creating complete stories and worlds in their short phrases, and I can only dream of being that creative.

Here Lawrence Lessig talks about the problems with Google’s book settlement. I will admit that I don’t really know what’s going on with Google and a book settlement, but this I do know: I like the cut of Lessig’s jibe, and I would like to subscribe to his newsletter. I agree with him that our copyright laws are ridiculous and terribly outdated, ESPECIALLY when it comes to digital content. Another great documentary about copyright, particularly in how it relates to music is Rip! A Remix Manifesto. I would HIGHLY encourage everyone to watch it; it’s fascinating.

Next is something NOT from @foresthouse; this comes from my very good friend Mariam: Volunteer to distribute free endangered species condoms, hilarity ensued:

Mariam: i mean, i get it, but… still. condoms with endangered animals on them?
me: But I wouldn’t say no to free condoms
Mariam: i mean, i’d want the condom with the polar bear, but a rock frog? no thanks!
Mariam: and a spotted owl? what am i telling my partner with these kinds of condoms? polar bear: you are ferocious! frog: i don’t have great expectations for you
Mariam: spotted owl: you annoy me with your sounds
me: I LOVE that you are worried about the statement you’re gonna make with the animal condoms
me: Rather than worried about your partner wondering why the fuck you have them in the first place
Mariam: it’s a very real concern!
Mariam: i want a condom with a bengal tiger on it.
so i can make “rawr” noises when i rip it open!
WITH MY TEETH. RAWWWWR!
me: I…M…A…
Mariam: man. i REALLY want animal condoms now
me: TIGER RAWRRAWR
Mariam: CAW CAW RAWR!
me: Somehow, I feel a line was just crossed by bringing Up into it

We went on to come up with other funny animals to put on condoms (Giant panda! Humpback whale! Jackrabbit! For the teenagers! COUGAR CONDOMS FOR THE COUGARS! Hummingbirds! Howler monkey! Blue footed boobie! Woodpecker! Anaconda!). Good times. Apparently, we’re 12.

@elwhite found Unhappy Hipsters, which I adore. Even though I totally love some of the houses pictured.

Everyone should also check out Sleep Talkin’ Man, mild mannered British fellow by day; foul mouthed, rude British fellow by night. Also, listen to the audio. HILARIOUS.