Archives for posts with tag: girly bits

(Hey so I should probably mention that Imma be talking all about my period and tampons and shit, so any of the men out there might want to skip this. Just FYI.)

So I have been a Diva Cup user since May 2007. An online friend talked about using one, and my interest was piqued. It DID seem a bit unnatural to spend a week each month with a wad of cotton shoved up my girly bits, NOT TO MENTION the TSS risks because FUCK if I can remember to change that shit regularly, and next thing I know I’m either leaving tampons in for 12 hours of the fucking thing is leaking EVERYWHERE. Also, I NEVER remembered to put tampons in my bag when my period was about to start, so EVERY SINGLE MONTH I had to run to the U-Mart on campus and pay $5 for 3 tampons. EVERY MONTH. So when someone told me there was a thing you could use instead of tampons and leave it in FOREVER (practically) and not worry about dying or leaking? SIGN ME UP. Also, it’s reusable? So I don’t have to spend money I don’t really have on feminine products? AWESOME.

I was thinking about it the other day, and if I only spent $5 a month on pads and tampons, which is RIDICULOUS; I ABSOLUTELY spent more than that a month, since 2007 I would have spent $210 on that shit. Since I started using the Diva Cup, know how much I’ve spent on feminine hygiene products? About $80. And looking at those numbers makes me feel better about spending $40 on a Diva Cup in Tucson even though I had JUST bought one the month before.

Oh yeah, I had to buy one while we were in Tucson because I’m a dipshit and left the one I already had sitting in the bathroom cupboard in CA. Because I can SERIOUSLY never be adequately prepared for my period, apparently. And yeah, I had to pay $40 for it because I needed it THAT DAY OMG and couldn’t wait for Amazon to ship me one for $20. Awesome. And look, I TRIED, I REALLY did TRY to convince myself to just buy tampons. I even STARED at the hippie unbleached ones are the Sunflower Market and TRIED to make myself by the $9 box, but I just COULDN’T. DO IT. The very THOUGHT of going back to tampons filled me with utter revulsion. The feller asked why I couldn’t just buy some dang tampons already, and I had no reasonable explanation except that my stomach started turning every time tampons were mentioned.

This coming from a woman who uses a cup to catch her menstrual fluids which she then has to empty and wash. Fun times.

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Somehow, I have found myself posting a lot about books, which I hadn’t expected when I started this blog. But I do love to read, and right now, it’s pretty much the only thing I do besides watching hours of Doctor Who and Torchwood in my sweatpants. Though I haven’t been doing much reading recently; I’ve started two books that are not really drawing me in, at least not the way Doctor Who does.

Anyway, two of the authors of my Top 5 Books of 2009 are going to be doing readings/signings/speakings in the Bay Area in the next couple of weeks. Yay! I’m actually totally stoked about this because the authors are Carrie Ryan and Malinda Lo, who wrote my ABSOLUTE two favorite books that I read in 2009. I’m SO EXCITED. AND!!! Carrie Ryan’s sequel to The Forest of Hands and Teeth comes out next Tuesday! So I can have a matching set of signed books by her! Which is totally cool, because I LOVED Forest of Hands and Teeth, and because the only other signed book I own is a crappy fantasy by Michael Stackpole, and I didn’t even get to meet him (nor did I read the book, but I guess I will someday because reading all the books I own is on my To-Do List).

AND! The books signings/readings/whatever can count as my new thing for March! Because I’ve never gone to an author thing before! Because authors don’t come to Tucson…I can’t imagine why. I definitely want to keep my eyeballs peeled for more things like this because if I have to live here, I’m going to enjoy all the shit we don’t get in Tucson, dammit!

I would also like to check out live music type stuff, but that’s so hit or miss. I don’t want to pay to go somewhere just to end up hating the music they have. I used to think I was very tolerant of all kinds of music, but then I started working at Starbucks and quickly discovered that there are LOTS of kinds of music I don’t like (holiday music! Kenny G! Sarah McLaughlin! Whatever other annoying shit SBux was playing that week!).

Gah, March is annoyingly busy for me. Thursday night, I’m flying into Ontario (California) for a work manager’s meeting, next weekend I have a couple of good friends staying with me, which should be lots of touristy exploring fun, the weekend after that I’m in Pittsburgh for school stuff (SIGH), and that doesn’t even factor in the school stuff I have going on. I would like a vacation, plzkthx.

But you know what? I won $80 playing poker Saturday night (I have mad skillz), so I’m gonna do a little retail therapy today. I need a new pair of boots for work/every day wear, and I might splurge and get some REALLY NICE ones (I’m desperate for these). I also need to pick up a new bra or two. Mine are getting old and worn, and it was pointed out to me this weekend that I probably need to go up a cup size. Which puts me at TRIPLE FUCKING D. Which is why I have such an issue finding bras. 34DDD, not a common size.

This pointed out to me today (I mean, I’ve heard about it before, but today was the first time it became Relevant to My Interests). If you scroll down, you’ll see a ranking of states by dick size. If you look, THERE at #5 is Arizona (a ranking I can happily corroborate) (and Phoenix comes in at #5 on the cities list too). Where is California? NUMBER TWELVE. I’VE BEEN DOWNGRADED. I am doomed to smaller dicks. Gone are the lovely, wonderful penises of yore. I shall add “please find me a big dick” to my list of what I pray for right before bed (along with Silverlight for my phone). SIGH.

Have you guys seen The Boob Emancipation Project? Umm…not really safe for work. The site’s run by three women who want promote womanly beauty in all it’s shapes. They post pictures of boobs (and asses on Wednesday!) of all shapes and sizes. I have TOTALLY submitted a couple of pictures for posting, naturally. And if they don’t get posted there, I’ll probably post them here because … well, why not? Is it weird that I’m not willing to talk about work specifics but I’m TOTALLY okay with having mostly naked pictures of me on the internet? I think it probably has something to do with the fact that my boobs are AMAZING, and everyone deserves to see boobs as awesome as mine. And most of Tucson already has.

And pussies, well, this part is TOTALLY about one of my cats. Sorry to disappoint.

My little butthead likes to park himself in front of the TV while I’m watching something. I can only assume that it’s warm? But he also STARES at the screen that half an inch from his face. I think I’m gonna work on teaching him “you’re a better door than you are a window” as the command to get the hell off my entertainment center.

He also has a weird fascination with watching me in the bathtub. All of my cats are curious about bathtimes, wondering, I suppose, about why someone would submerge themselves in so much water, but Bandito’s curiosity is different. He regularly sits on the toilet and watches me in the tub the entire time I’m in there. It’s enough to make a modest person blush. Not me, of course. One would think that he’d avoid the filled bathtub after he fell in that one time. It was totally hilarious but sad, poor guy.

So, I’ve thought a lot about what my boundaries for this blog are going to be and whether or not I’m willing to talk openly about sex/relationships/dating mishaps and my girly bits. Figuring out the sex thing can wait until I’m having it again. As for my girly bits? Well, apparently, fair game. So, um, disclaimer? This could get graphic and perhaps a little uncomfortable, and I’ll apologize now for anyone who gets unpleasant images in their heads.

A couple weekends ago, I went to a Passion Party, and ordered a few new things: a toy and a variety of lubes.

FedEx came on Thursday but didn’t leave my box of goodies, which is probably good since I did have to work the next morning. So I signed the waiver on the doortag and went through my Friday at work knowing good times were in store. It was the longest day ever.

I already own the pretty typical dick shaped vibrator, which I love. Nothing beats actually having a sexy MAN in bed with me, but when no man is to be had, masturbation is pretty great. In fact there was a brief period of time when I couldn’t fall asleep without masturbating. I’m glad that time has passed. I don’t use my vibrator very often (I prefer to get very HANDS ON), but it’s waterproof, and I love being able to use it in the bathtub.

I got home Friday afternoon and TORE open the packaging, tossed my pants aside and GOT DOWN TO BUSINESS. I started out on the couch in the living room (um…I’ll wash my futon cover before anyone comes over) and eventually moved into my bedroom. Now, I’m not the kind of person who worries too much about the ATMOSPHERE. I don’t need sex lights or candles or silky scarves or sex music. I like having sex with the lights on (though there are some images in my head that I wish I had had the foresight to turn off the lights to avoid), and I have masturbated with my cats on the bed. I DON’T CARE. This night, however, I could hear my neighbors talking next door, and a mostly naked Emma Frost was staring at me from my Women of Marvel calendar. I had to turn on some music and turn off the lights. It was just too weird. SHE WAS STARING AT ME, OKAY? WITH A BOW AND ARROW IN HER HANDS. IT WAS TOO MUCH PRESSURE. But it was fun.

Now, I need an adventurous man.