When I was moving to the Bay Area, one of my biggest concerns was, and continues to be, dating. I have dated (“dated”) a WIIIIIIDE variety of dudes, but I really have one VERY specific type. I like big guys, broad shoulders, nice smile, very masculine, a little rough around the edges, older than me. I don’t like pretty boys or metrosexual boys or ones who are super polished and put together. There’s nothing wrong with those guys, they’re just not my cup of tea. I like Harley riders and cowboys and firefighters and football players and military guys. If I could build myself a man, he would pretty much be Jeffrey Dean Morgan, tall, charming, scruffy and a little unkempt.
In Tucson, finding this kind of guy would not be that difficult. My church is home to plenty of military and bikers (and guys who are both! SWOON). My best friend’s fiance coaches high school football, and some of his fellow coaches are FINE, and he was a member of the cowboys and farmers fraternity, so most of his brothers are RIGHT up my alley. Plus the air force base is really close. Not to mention I have friends there to go out and do stuff with, making it easier and WAY more fun to be in places where I COULD meet someone.
Now, San Francisco/the Bay Area is HUGE, and a lot of people live here, so it has that numbers thing going for it. However, HOW IN THE HELL do I meet any of the guys who live here who I might be interested in? A masculine, little rough around the edges dude who’s down with church? None of the guys who actually go to my church qualify; there are some good looking guys, but they’re all more
feminine metrosexual polished, I guess is the best word, than I like. The only facial hair to be found has been groomed to excess, and there are not a lot of big guys. And I don’t know any area bars or hot spots to go boy scouting. It’s frustrating.
Now, I’m not saying that I ONLY want to date this one specific type of guy, but initial attraction is important, and I know what I like. This doesn’t stop me from dating other types: my one serious boyfriend was super skinny and younger than me and the guy I came closest to dating in college took longer to get ready than me and held pretty much the exact opposite opinions on everything than I did. I’m open to other possibilities, is what I’m saying.
God and I have spent a lot of time discussing this very topic. He knows my feelings on the subject and knows what I would like to see in a mate, so at this juncture, I’m just trying to be patient and trust in His plan for my life. I know he’s got someone out there for me, and I’ll find him when the time is right.
That said, this morning I drove into work behind a guy in a pickup truck with a sticker for the Marines and Cross Canadian Ragweed in his back window. How do I meet HIM?